December 6th, 2014
I hear some of my fellow white activists struggling to find a way to be allies in this latest chapter in the ongoing struggle for justice for Black people and, I believe, all People of Color. This is a difficult puzzle for a group of people who have for many generations held the scepter of power, to consider not wielding it. I am writing the following not a final thought for myself or anyone else, but as my own process of thinking things through. I welcome any People of Color who might read it to tell me if I am off track or continuing to carry out my privilege in my words. I welcome other anti-racist allies to consider how these thoughts might fit or not fit your own practice and to share your thoughts as well. Here’s what I’m thinking about how to best be an ally in the struggle for justice for Black people and all People of Color. I recognize that the story is far from a perfect analogy, but I hope that it works.
Imagine yourself and a friend. That friend grew up in an abusive situation (society). They didn’t choose that situation. It was simply the one that they were born into. When you were younger you didn’t realize the nature of your friend’s situation. At some point you realized you weren’t allowed to go to that person’s house and slowly you learned other unwritten rules. As you both grew older you both grew stronger and wiser as well. Your friend stretched their wings in small ways at first, gaining little freedoms here and there. Now, they’ve come to the point that they’ve decided to confront their abuser. What do you do?
Do you say follow me I’ll figure out a plan to deal with this? Do you tell them to stop? Do you tell them to behave and it will be o.k.?
No, I think you say I love you. I respect your decision and stand behind you. Now what do you want from me to help you make it happen? Then you listen, do what you are able, mourn the losses, and rejoice when the struggle is won.