Author: amy mondloch

I am many things. I am a farmer's daughter, an activist, an educator, a mentor, an organizer, a person who cares about this place that we inhabit, a member of a community-- of many communities actually, a resident of a small Midwestern town, a little sister, an aunt, a friend, someone who likes to play with art supplies and spend time outdoors, a believer that people can create positive change, and a writer.

The First Week Going MAD

Tuesday marked the end of my first week on the Modified Atkins Diet for my epilepsy. It’s far too soon to know if the MAD has impacted my seizures at all, but I can say that I have seen some changes and have learned a bit too in this past week.

Before I started this journey I created a list of “MAD Hopes”, 25 hopes and goals that would help me know if I am succeeding or not. These hopes and goals include things related to my epilepsy like seizure freedom and decreasing medication as well as other things related to my overall physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Reviewing my list this morning I can say that I am doing well. I am five pounds closer to my goal weight. I don’t have the bloating that I did before I started. My breathing is better and my athlete’s foot is clearing up. I think I may be starting to sleep a little better. I definitely feel good about my food choices and how they impact the planet and myself. Thus far, the MAD is doing good for me.

It’s not been a perfect trip so far. Each day I check my ketone levels at least once using a urine testing kit. Each day now it seem my ketone levels show up high on the scale. Some days this is not a big deal. Other days it comes with a bit of fatigue and maybe some nausea and stomach discomfort. These are signs of low blood sugar and could indicate significant problems coming. Thankfully, a great lesson I’ve learned this week is one that many people with diabetes have known for years– the amazing healing powers of apple juice. Two tablespoons of juice and I am back within normal ketone levels and fully operational. I am told that my body will likely adjust, my ketones will come into balance, and I won’t be needing apple juice regularly any more.

I’d like to say that the new diet has increased my energy and clarity, but it’s hard to say. My life has been a bit unusual having had a few weeks off looking for my next place of employment. It’s meant a lot more time sitting and typing and hanging out with the dog, not a time that requires a great deal of energy or quick thinking. With luck and some work I will be back in the workplace soon, then we’ll see how the MAD has impacted my clarity and energy. Meanwhile, I am happy with what I am seeing.

Thoughts on How to Stop the Violence

Yesterday, 19 children and 2 adults lost their lives at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas. That means we’re at nearly 250 school shootings since back when Columbine first shocked and terrified us all. Thousands of children and their caregivers and teachers have died. Others have been left behind to struggle with the loss.

Each time another shooting happens the response is much the same. We cry. We mourn. We say this must never happen again. Yet, it happens again. Why?

It happens because there are no easy answers. It happens because the changes needed are needed at many levels; personal, community, political, maybe even spiritual. It happens because the changes require more than the wonderful organizers who are already out there working day and night trying to save the world. The changes require all of us taking action. There are many ways to take action each day. Some listed here may seem obvious and direct. Others may leave you questioning a little. That’s okay. My thoughts here are based on the idea that everything is connected.

  • Tell someone that you love them. If you’ve already told them, tell them again. We all need to hear these words over and over again to hold our souls together and no one wants to say goodbye with these words unsaid.
  • Breathe deeply before you act and then act with the seventh generation in your mind and your heart. Some may ask what this means. The idea of the seventh generation is simple. Imagine a long tunnel. If you look down that tunnel, way down at the other end you’ll see a baby. That baby is the seventh generation, roughly 150 years from now. If you do right by that child, you’ll be doing right for today. Always treat that baby with love and respect.
  • You don’t have to love your enemy, but do recognize that someone loves them and that someone is a valuable person who deserves not to be hurt. Every shooter, every evil politician, every horrible whatever out there has or had someone, their parent, their child, their grandma or grandpa, or maybe a teacher or somebody who cared about them or still cares about them. You don’t have to love the horrible, just know that somebody could see something in them that was good, that was worthy of love and act with that in mind.
  • Recognize the connections. Our mental health is no accident. Good mental health depends on a healthy environment, healthy diet, financial security, and strong social support networks. We each need many things to maintain our stability. Each day we must strive to move toward fulfilling each of these needs for everyone if we are to create a healthy world.
  • Be involved. Find your piece of the action whether it’s working directly on gun safety and stopping school shootings or a hundred different issues. Follow your heart and connect with your community to make the world just a little bit better. It is by the creating of good, healthy communities of many types that we heal and we stop this senseless violence and turn instead to love.

Those are just a few thoughts for the moment. I am sure there are many more. I would love to hear yours. Take good care and wishing you all peace and healing

MAD with Epilepsy Day 1

It’s already been a long journey even though I only began yesterday. Yesterday was the first day for me on my Modified Atkins Diet (MAD) for epilepsy. I am already learning.

I met with my dietician Kelly Faltersack in the afternoon yesterday. I’d already gotten my starter pack information and had read and watched quite a bit on the diet, so I felt safe eating within the diet for breakfast and lunch and making yesterday my first full day with the program. I will say that I encourage anyone who reads this and wants to start the MAD or another keto diet for your epilepsy or other health challenge, talk with your health team first. There are a lot of details they can help with to save you a lot of trouble and make success more possible.

Just in my first day I was struck by what it really takes to rebalance my diet and get sufficient calories. A number of years ago I worked with a different Kelly, an old friend of mine and a nurse practitioner, to do allergy testing and revamp my diet. At that point I moved from being a junk food junkie to really becoming a pretty healthy eater. I don’t keep sugar in my house. I also don’t keep chips or pop. I will sometimes have some potato chips or a non-caffeinated soda when I go out, or at least I would until now. The point being that for an American I eat well. Still, yesterday I found myself getting hungrier than usual between meals. I looked at the tracking system I am using and realized that even with adding what I thought was quite a bit of additional fats, my calories were too low. Yesterday I ended the day with a grand total of 888 calories. ( *Note- calorie counting is not a regular part of MAD for epilepsy) That was okay for a day, but clearly not healthy for more than a few days in a row. It became rapidly clear that I need to figure out a new way of understanding servings. It is an interesting puzzle– how to get sufficient calories without going over 20 grams of carbohydrates in a day.

So, today I am working on the puzzle. I added another egg and two tablespoons of heavy cream to my scrambled eggs. I am glad to say that I’m not feeling as hungry today so far. It is still fairly early in the morning though. It’s interesting to look at food servings in that different way. Normally, I would want to add something bigger, something that takes up more space or seems heavier to fill myself. It is strange to me to think of just a tablespoon or two of liquid as a large source of calories and energy. It’s always been true. I’ve just never thought of it before.

My other challenge for the day will be building up my water intake. Typically, people are encouraged to drink at least 64oz of water per day which many of us don’t succeed in doing. Because of my epilepsy medication and being on the MAD my neurology team is advising me to drink 74oz. That’s a lot of water! But, it sounds a lot better than the alternatives of constipation and possibly kidney stones, so I am holding up my water bottle and toasting good health to us all.

Is anyone else out there using the MAD to address epilepsy or other health issues? I would love to hear your stories. Please share.

Going MAD With Epilepsy

I was diagnosed with epilepsy nearly a decade ago. I’ve tried numerous medications with some success, but also with quite a few challenges brought on by allergies. A few years ago I had a vagus nerve stimulator implanted to assist in stopping my seizures. It helped significantly, but I still have a seizure every month or two. A seizure once every month or two isn’t much in comparison to the many others who deal with dozens or even hundreds of episodes every day, but it is enough to impact daily life.

A few months ago I gave up driving after an accident involving a seizure behind the wheel. I don’t know if I will ever drive again. Instead, I returned to Madison, a city with reasonably good public transportation and known for its walk/bike-ability. Now, I find myself waiting to find out if a potential employer may withdraw a job offer since I was open with them about my disability, deciding what to do and remembering past similar experiences. Even with just one seizure every month or two it is an interesting learning experience in understanding living with disabilities.

It is a challenge. There are struggles. There are also opportunities to live, to improve life, to grow, to heal, and to become a better me. I am setting forth on the journey of one of those opportunities. I’ll be meeting with Kelly, the dietician on neurology team, on Tuesday for a educational session that will start my Modified Atkins Diet (MAD), a form of the Ketogenic diet.

The Ketogenic diet has been being used effectively to treat .epilepsy since the 1920’s. As medications for the disability became available use of the diet disappeared because of the challenges associated with maintaining it. Over the past two decades it’s become used increasingly with children and now is beginning to be used more with adults as well in forms like the MAD.

Over the past week I’ve been mourning the letting go of foods that I associate with comfort, treating myself, or maybe the “good life.” I’d already made significant changes to my diet a number of years ago, so I don’t eat fast food nearly every day or make pasta a regular part of my diet like I used too. In fact, I don’t even have any cane sugar in my house. Still, I’d rather have a burger with a bun than without, prefer potato chips over kale chips, and like a good piece of pie with ice cream every once in a while. Some things I will say goodbye to, others will be significantly limited. The average American eats about 250 grams of carbohydrates daily. It’s my understanding that the MAD will put me at about 20 grams of carbs each day. My intake of fats will increase and many of my go-to carbs will disappear. This will allow my body to go into ketosis, using fat for energy.

This morning I sat down and created a list. It was a list of “MAD Hopes.” I am beginning my celebration of a new beginning. It began with a list of hopes for what I will achieve from this journey, both small and huge. The most important among them being reaching seizure freedom. Over the upcoming days, weeks, months, and maybe even years I hope to take you on this journey with me as I blog about my story, share my joys and struggles, and what learn along the way.

Care for the Water, Care for the Women

I was back at the state capitol today. Sometimes I wonder if I should maybe just avoid that building. It seems every time I go there something makes me cry.

Today, I was there to join with hundreds of other to remember and honor all the missing and murdered Indigeneous women. As of 2016, the National Crime Information Center reported 5,712 cases of missing Native American women and girls. I am terrified to considered how much the numbers have grown since then. Indigenous women and girls are ten times as likely to be murdered as all other ethnicities. More than half of Native women and girls experience sexual violence. According to the Center for Disease Control murder is the third leading cause of death among Indigenous women.

Today, we sat and listened to the stories of survivors and to stories of the families and friends of those who didn’t survive. I found myself in tears and thinking about some of the little girls I got to know during my time in Minnesota. In particular, I found myself thinking about two little girls who are now both just coming to that stage of life of entering womanhood. I remember that time being confusing and hard enough with body changes, the discovery of sexuality, and noticing the cute guy at school. These girls live in a different world and I could only cry as I can’t protect them on my own.

Why is it this way we wonder? Well, all I can come down to is that it’s about power. These little girls, these women are too powerful. If they are allowed to keep their power, the forces of evil would be crushed. Rape is a tool to control and break down not only the individual, but the whole community. If the women are controlled with the force of violence and fear, the children are controlled. If the women and the children are controlled, the men are broken. Nothing works anymore. The community struggles to merely survive when the women are no longer safe.

Who profits when the community struggles? Big oil, mining companies, all the corporations who make money off of Indigenous people’s lands and waters. That’s why we see the numbers of women disappearing and being murdered going up when the mining companies and oil pipelines come in. It’s control. It’s breaking down the community and tearing out the heart.

So, what do we do? Listen to the women and the girls. Honor them and respect them. Don’t allow for this injustice to continue. Remember that these women, they are the keepers of the water. Respect the water and you will respect the women. The two are not separate. Care for the water. Care for the women. I can’t protect those little girls on my own, but together we can. Each action, every day keep remembering. Care for the water. Care for the women. Respect the water. Respect the women.

Women’s Role in Keeping Life

I spent my evening today on the steps of the Wisconsin state capitol along with a few thousand others continuing the struggle for women’s rights. I’ve spent a lot of time on those steps over the past thirty years at a whole lot of rallies working for justice for a lot of people and a lot of places. Tonight as the crowd started to gather I found myself sitting and thinking of one of the first rallies I went to back as a student activist in the 1990’s. We were fighting the proposed Crandon mine. Frannie Van Zile, an Anishanaabe leader of the struggle from the Mole Lake Nation was speaking. I can still hear her voice echoing in my heart. Her words still guide my actions every day. “You women, you women out there. You are the keepers of the water.”

Women are the bearers of life. We are the keepers of the water. This is a great gift and a great responsibility. This is why many Indigenous nations historically hold women with great respect and why everything gets out of balance when women aren’t treated with the respect and honor that they deserve. Things are out of balance these days. The probable overturning of Roe v Wade is one clear sign.

Women must be held in respect as the bearers of life. Taking away their rights to protect their lives and safely make the difficult decisions to choose not bear a child is not respect for the child or the mother. What happens to the child that is born to a mother who doesn’t have the financial, social, or emotional resources to care for them? Is it better to be born unwanted into a world that can’t care for you and to become the scourge of those who are supposedly pro-life when you’re forced to fight to survive outside the womb? The foster care system is overburdened. There aren’t lots of people seeking to adopt. These children forced upon these women will simply die outside the womb either fully or simply in their souls. Is it better for a woman to be held victim to rape or to face the results a failed contraceptive every day for the rest of her life while the father walks away? Or is it better for her to die in the back alley? Clearly none of these options is good for anyone.

When we respect the women, when we hold them up and support them as they make the most difficult decision of their lives they become stronger. When they become stronger we all become stronger. It is when we care for and support these women that they can grow powerful, they can love, and they can bring back balance. Abortion is a painful choice, but it is a choice and as long as it is legal it can be a safe choice. If we lose legal abortions we will also lose women’s lives, and that is not pro-life. It is simply wrong.

No One Wants An Abortion

No one wants to have an abortion. Let’s just start there. It’s not something a woman does because she wants to have a surgery that will leave her with memories and questions for the rest of her life. She doesn’t want to always be able to look back and ask herself would it have been a boy or girl? Who would it have been? What would she have been like as a mother to that being?

The right to have an abortion is perhaps one of the greatest signs of motherhood. Afterall, the mother’s role is to do the best possible for the being in her womb. Sometimes the best and the hardest is to protect that being from a life of pain and want. Sometimes the best and the hardest is to protect them from abuse or from severe health conditions that would make living impossible. Sometimes the best and the hardest is to protect them from entering a world in which they will be treated with hatred by the people who are supposed to love them. There are so many reasons that a woman may choose to have an abortion. None are so simple as she wants one. All are about doing the best that she can for the being that grows inside her and for herself as well. The mother’s relationship with herself, with the world, and with her understanding of God will all change, but she will have done what she needed to do to care for herself and for the being she carried.

How can the court be so cruel to these women and unborn beings? Without legal abortions these women will not be able to save the beings in their wombs from lives of ongoing pain. If they try they will risk their own lives. What will we have won to lose both the mother and the fetus? Maybe it is these women who would risk their lives for the well-being of someone who they will never know who should be in charge instead of these judges who are willing to force them to put their lives at risk.