I was diagnosed with epilepsy nearly a decade ago. I’ve tried numerous medications with some success, but also with quite a few challenges brought on by allergies. A few years ago I had a vagus nerve stimulator implanted to assist in stopping my seizures. It helped significantly, but I still have a seizure every month or two. A seizure once every month or two isn’t much in comparison to the many others who deal with dozens or even hundreds of episodes every day, but it is enough to impact daily life.

A few months ago I gave up driving after an accident involving a seizure behind the wheel. I don’t know if I will ever drive again. Instead, I returned to Madison, a city with reasonably good public transportation and known for its walk/bike-ability. Now, I find myself waiting to find out if a potential employer may withdraw a job offer since I was open with them about my disability, deciding what to do and remembering past similar experiences. Even with just one seizure every month or two it is an interesting learning experience in understanding living with disabilities.

It is a challenge. There are struggles. There are also opportunities to live, to improve life, to grow, to heal, and to become a better me. I am setting forth on the journey of one of those opportunities. I’ll be meeting with Kelly, the dietician on neurology team, on Tuesday for a educational session that will start my Modified Atkins Diet (MAD), a form of the Ketogenic diet.

The Ketogenic diet has been being used effectively to treat .epilepsy since the 1920’s. As medications for the disability became available use of the diet disappeared because of the challenges associated with maintaining it. Over the past two decades it’s become used increasingly with children and now is beginning to be used more with adults as well in forms like the MAD.

Over the past week I’ve been mourning the letting go of foods that I associate with comfort, treating myself, or maybe the “good life.” I’d already made significant changes to my diet a number of years ago, so I don’t eat fast food nearly every day or make pasta a regular part of my diet like I used too. In fact, I don’t even have any cane sugar in my house. Still, I’d rather have a burger with a bun than without, prefer potato chips over kale chips, and like a good piece of pie with ice cream every once in a while. Some things I will say goodbye to, others will be significantly limited. The average American eats about 250 grams of carbohydrates daily. It’s my understanding that the MAD will put me at about 20 grams of carbs each day. My intake of fats will increase and many of my go-to carbs will disappear. This will allow my body to go into ketosis, using fat for energy.

This morning I sat down and created a list. It was a list of “MAD Hopes.” I am beginning my celebration of a new beginning. It began with a list of hopes for what I will achieve from this journey, both small and huge. The most important among them being reaching seizure freedom. Over the upcoming days, weeks, months, and maybe even years I hope to take you on this journey with me as I blog about my story, share my joys and struggles, and what learn along the way.