It was in November of 2024 that I first came across Gretchin Rubin’s book, “The Happiness Project” and decided to take on my own happiness project.

Last January I leapt in, focused on four areas- creativity, spirit, health, and connection. I went online and bought a planner to help me track the process and think through my direction. I set clear, measurable goals, and jumped. I started out with 15 minutes a day of creative time, 15 minutes daily of meditation, and 15 minutes daily of stretching/opening exercises. I started strong. By April these things began to feel like habits and I sought more. I added in time to make music, get outside, and to read for pleasure. As spring warmed I took that idea of getting outside and started running again. By mid-summer I was running about 10 miles a week and really loving it along with building my community connections through volunteering at the zoo and the MSCR pontoon boats.

Each of things was something that I enjoyed, but by August I learned there was something I didn’t like anymore. I didn’t like my planner or being committed to doing all of the things that I’d added to my list. While I loved to play with art supplies, I didn’t like having to make sure I did my 15 minutes a day of creative time. The same was true for meditation or music or anything else. I’d somehow taken so many things that were so fun and relaxing and made them into jobs that I had to do or I’d have failed. That wasn’t what I sought to do. How had I taken this stress reduction exercise and turned it into a stressor? It collapsed and I collapsed.

As school started again I got lost in the new year, preparing for all my students and trying my best to stay afloat amongst the growing icebergs of work that are the life of a special education teacher. The best I could do in the moment it seemed was to let go of the structure of my “Happiness Project.” I had to let myself not create, not meditate, not make music, not run, not play outside. It seems a strange way to approach it I suppose, but it worked. I decided for myself, unknowingly I’ll admit, that the project was no longer a job for me and I didn’t have to do it.

It took some time where I didn’t meditate or run or create or do much of anything that I’d set out to do in the beginning of the year, but after a month or two pieces started to drift back in. I meditate daily now. My creative time has been knitting almost daily. I started running again in the fall and did a 5k. I’m cutting my tv time and increasing my time reading fiction. The one thing that I’ve not returned to though has been my planner. I have learned that while happiness is intentional it can’t be overplanned or it becomes work.