Tomorrow is the big day. As a child years a measured by birthdays. As a woman over 40, years are measured by mammograms. I am one of those whose family history leaves me wondering every year– Is this my year? Thankfully, so far though the … Continue reading Mammogram Memories
I remember, as a little girl, watching “Facts of Life” on television. I always wanted to be one of those really lucky, smart kids who got to go to a boarding school. It seemed so special, almost magical to have that kind of freedom. It’s funny looking back at it now. My older brother actually went to a boarding school, St. Lawrence Seminary, and I visited him quite often as a young child. I saw his boarding school first hand often.
I also saw St. Coletta’s. I was thinking of it today, remembering how I loved to visit St. Coletta’s, how I was really kind of jealous of the people that I met there, how I wanted to live there in that wonderland. I had no idea, as a young child, that the people who I met at St. Coletta’s had severe developmental disabilities. I just thought they were happy and having fun. Maybe they were.
St. Coletta’s is a special place in my memory because of a special woman who left the world this morning. Sr. Phillip was my aunt. She did laundry and care giving for residents of the school.
There are many of us in the world who hold that title “I grew up Catholic.” It seems a lot of us hold an anger about that experience especially about the nuns and priests in our lives. I don’t. I don’t hold the same beliefs I did when I was younger, but I look back at some of the believers who’ve taught and guided me and I am inspired.
Sr. Phillip was one of those. I remember her hands, scarred from years of work. Her smile and twinkling eyes, her walk that really was just like a penguin. Her hips and legs had to have caused her great pain. For the last several years she depended on an oxygen tank. But, she never complained. She was truly happy. So often we’re running from here to there acquiring stuff, seeking accomplishments, trying so hard to be greater than we are and falling short, disappointing ourselves and just being lost.
Sr. Phillip just smiled and laughed and enjoyed the people she was with. She lived over 90 years. I knew her half that time. I don’t remember ever seeing her angry for more than a moment. I think back now and know that she spent decades of her life working and living with individuals facing huge challenges in their lives. She lived with a vow of poverty. She also lived within a loving community, with a faith that meant a great deal to her, as a part of a family that she loved. She had it all.
I thank her for reminding me what’s important.
I did something a little out of the ordinary a few weeks ago, 20 days ago to be exact. It was my friend Bob’s fault. Last summer I had some allergy testing done to see if changing my diet might help with my epilepsy. I’ve made some significant changes to how I eat and it’s been great! I’ve lost nearly 40 lbs. I feel so much healthier and I think my seizures have decreased as well.
Among my allergies are cane sugar, olives (olive oil), green pepper, and black pepper as well as a few other things. That brings us to the incident of 20 days ago. I’ve said goodbye to ice cream, cakes, and cookies without too much sadness. I’ve just figured out ways to replace them with things I can eat. There is one thing that I’ve not successfully said goodbye to though– pizza. I still fall prey to the mediocre pizza buffet. I can successfully avoid the slices covered in green peppers and olives for the most part though every once in a while one slips in covered in cheese. But, there’s just about always cane sugar, olive oil, and black pepper hidden in those creations. Plus, the pizza buffet is one of the few places that I have a glass of pop anymore as well. 20 days ago I was on Facebook pondering a trip for pizza when Bob responded by telling me that I’m an addict and need a 120 day detox.
Well, whether or not addict is the right word I don’t know. But, I am nothing if I am not stubborn. Bob seemed to be questioning if I could go 120 days without pizza. I thought about it and realized that since my mom died in 1984, I’ve probably never gone more than two weeks without a slice. I was twelve when she passed and had quite limited cooking skills. When Dad was at work and I was home I ate a lot of frozen pizza, potato chips, and coke. Now, all three are gone from my diet.
In college, my housemate had a piggy bank in the shape of the Sesame Street character Bert. We used it to save our change for a trip to Europe. We never got to Europe because every time we got enough we bought pizza. I’ll be making my first trip to Europe this summer.
Today is a day of celebration. I think it may be the longest I’ve gone without eating pizza since I was 12 years old. I am treating my body with the love and respect that I deserve. Feeding myself good and healthy food that I enjoy and that makes me feel good.
Only 100 more days to the pizza detox. I am asking myself how I will celebrate my accomplishment when it’s done. Will I go out for pizza? Stay tuned to find out.
How are you caring for yourself today? You deserve the best. Treat yourself with love, caring, and respect.
Miigwetch to David Manuel or whoever took this photo.
I’ll start this by being clear. My ancestors are from Luxembourg and surrounding countries. Sometimes when I advocate that the people of the over 500 different tribal nations in the place now referred to as North America get treated with basic respect and dignity I am asked if I am Native. I’m not. I was just raised to care for and respect my neighbor. And, I’ve had the good fortune to count some great Indians among my dearest friends.
I saw the photo of the red dress this morning. It made me think. I have long believed that racism is an act of fear more than power. Somewhere in our being white folks recognize that we’ve done wrong for these many generations and we’re afraid of retribution. We’re afraid of what could happen if everyone else had homes, jobs, money, education, and a safe place to be, at the same level that we do.
I’m not talking about individual fear. Some people individually have moved past it. But, as a group, we’re afraid.
We women, we have to address that fear. It’s our to address because we are strong. I remember as a young activist standing on the steps of the Wisconsin State Capitol, listening to Frannie Van Zile from the Mole Lake Nation. She was talking about the proposed Crandon mine. She said “You women, you women out there, you are the keepers of the water.” Those words changed my life. In many Indigenous cultures women are respected and honored. They are recognized to carry an important power, that they are keepers of the water, bearers of life.
That red dress reminds me that Native women, in fact all women of color, are in great danger because fear attacks where power resides. It also reminds me that, as a woman, I have a responsibility to my sisters to care for them, to mourn their loss, and to do what I am able to keep them safe.
Another addict died this week. Did it matter?
While more white people in Minnesota die of opioid abuse than any other population in the state, the tribes are some of the hardest hit by the epidemic. In 2016, 395 Minnesota residents died of overdoses. Native people in Minnesota die at a rate nearly 6x as high as whites. Yet there are no answers.
Native people are roughly 2% of the population of the state. Why are they dying every day from addiction?
American Community Survey data suggests that Minnesota has a poverty rate of 10.8%. Native people, however in our state face a poverty rate of 31.4%. Native people are also less likely to make it through the educational system.
Still, after more than 200 years of attacks by European invaders and their descendants the tribes survive. But, yet the attacks continue.
If white people were dying of opioid abuse at a rate 6x that of Native people, would we be responding differently?
Success in recovering from addiction requires hope and stability. Right now that hope and stability doesn’t exist. We need to change that. We can arrest as many dealers as we want and more will appear. If we’re serious about ending the opioid epidemic, we need to address racism. Here are a few steps to take.
https://www.mprnews.org/story/2016/04/18/opioid-overdose-epidemic-explained
What is it that makes someone a writer? That’s the question that I’ve been asking myself today. Two days ago I felt the need to start a new blog. I acknowledged all the times that people have encouraged me to put my life stories to paper and decided to do it. Then, today, I sat down at the computer and nothing. That’s right, nothing came out.
I grew up out in the country, on a farm in southeastern Wisconsin. My high school graduating class had less than 100 kids. We were pretty lucky kids though. We really were the center of the town’s attention. Whether it was the high school musical, a parade, or a football game we were the ones everyone came to watch. We were the stars. I acted, played music, edited the school paper.
Then I went to college. The campus had about six times as many people as the town that I’d gone to high school it. It was the big time for this farm girl.
Thursday nights my freshman year began to define me. Thursday nights led me to the basement of the library, a gathering of the minds, probably the most creative group of out of this world artists I’ve ever had the good fortune to know. It was University Writers and I became a writer. I’d written for years, but it was then that I began to share my work, began to look at myself differently, see my thoughts as valuable, creative, and something special.
It’s been a long time since I’ve sat and laughed and shared with those friends in the basement of the library. Yet, they carry with me. Here’s a piece that I had published in Barney Street our campus literary magazine my sophomore year.
Little Boy
Little Boy
hiding in the shadows
laughing in the light
colouring a crayola world
running from shades of gray and black
dressing up in soldier clothes
carrying at his side
a gun
and a tear stained knife
Little Boy rides his unicorn
slides down rainbows
in the day
in the evening
puts in his mask
a grown-up masquerade
evil black knight
fearful, dangerous,
angry wolf
and at night
in the midnight darkness
the mask away
Little Boy cries
and prays for day
It’s nearly 30 years later now. It’s been a long while since I’ve written poetry. But, the stories continue. I keep writing, journaling, grants, reports, mostly. Does it mean that I am still a writer? I hope so. It seems time to start work on another chapter.
My father will turn 90 in just a few days. Family is gathering for the party tomorrow. I’ll be 500 miles away.
That wasn’t the plan. The plan was that I’d drive home yesterday, spend a little time with friends along the way, then head for a weekend with family. My body, well actually my brain, changed the plan. I have epilepsy. I was diagnosed in 2013. My seizures have been well under control, but one showed up a few days ago and I had to set down the car keys for the next few months. And, I had to take a few days to just rest and recover.
The good news is that it encouraged me to pick up the laptop again.
I don’t know why I have epilepsy. I come from a large family and I am the only one with this challenge/gift. I can hypothesize a list of possibilities, and I have many times. But, the reality is that it’s here and I get to live with it.
Why write about it? Well, because it is a gift and gifts are good to share. What? Epilepsy is a gift? No way!
I will admit it’s not a gift I would have chosen and if I had the receipt I would most definitely return it, but it is a gift. Here are just few reasons why I consider my epilepsy a gift in my life. I wonder what unexpected and perhaps unwanted gifts life has given you?
What challenge/gifts inspire you and carry you forward?
January 25th, 2017
Back in 2011 I had the good fortune to get a phone call from the TAA in Madison, WI. They needed a little help. You see some folks had gathered in the state capitol because Governor Scott Walker was breaking the hearts of Wisconsinites with his anti-union, anti-worker behavior. And, well, those folks who gathered there had had enough of the governor cheating on them and they’d decided not to leave. The TAA and friends were hosting a gathering at the people’s house that would engage hundreds of thousands of people over the next several weeks. They needed a little help making sure the space would stay safe and nonviolent.
I got the call in the afternoon and in a few hours my good friend Jeff and I were giving the first nonviolence training. Soon, I’d brought together a crew of trainers and we created “Prepared and Peaceful” a document that was shared throughout the capitol and later given to the Occupy Movement. I’m proud to say the capitol protests remained nonviolent through the weeks were there.
With the changes in our government I expect we’re going to see a massive change in community organizing in the near future with a great increase in direct action organizing. I’d like to share with the world again the materials that we used in Wisconsin during the capitol occupation and encourage you to be well prepared and peaceful. Below is the text of “Prepared and Peaceful.” If you’d like to get a pdf copy, please let me know.
Peace,
Amy
prepared + peaceful
training for being in and around the Capitol
Each of us is here because we’re committed to something important.
How we express that commitment matters.
Remember, the whole world is watching.
For your safety, the safety of others, and the safety of the protest, we ask that you plan ahead,
consider your options carefully, and get whatever support you need to remain calm and peaceful in
the event that we are asked to leave.
Nothing written here is intended as legal advice. We just want every person in and around
the Capitol to make informed choices about if, how, and when to leave.
NONVIOLENCE
Nonviolence is a philosophy, a lifestyle, and a strategy. Here we address it as a strategy to:
• Keep the public on our side
• Inform our interactions with counter-protestors
• Inform our interactions with police (who mostly support the goals of this protest)
Strategies that support our ability to practice nonviolence include:
• Connecting with others
• Planning ahead, visualizing nonviolent responses, role-playing
• Staying sober and free of alcohol/illegal drugs
• Song, prayer, meditation, compassion—remaining centered, calm, and focused on purpose
CONNECTING WITH OTHERS
Affinity groups are a long-standing way of
organizing nonviolent protest. Consider forming
a small group of people you already know or
meet here to:
• Watch out for each other
• Know each other’s contact information
• Help each other stay healthy and safe (food,
sleep, medications, mood, etc.)
• Have a designated meeting place if you get
separated
• Decide together what actions you’ll take
• Support each other to leave if anyone can’t
stay nonviolent
• Have a plan for what to do if you are at risk
of arrest
BEING WELL
One of the biggest health concerns in a situation
like this is burnout. Take time to take care of
yourself. Use your affinity group to support you.
• Breathe consciously. Even a few deep
breaths can make a real difference in your
ability to think clearly. Make a habit of
breathing consciously 10-15 minutes every
day.
• Rub your feet! At the end of a day at the
Capitol, get the blood circulating, then
elevate your feet so they’re less swollen in
the morning.
• Be sure to take all medications as
prescribed. See “Being Arrested” (back) for
how to prepare if your meds are critical to
your moment-to-moment well-being and
you plan to risk arrest.
PLANNING AHEAD
To avoid unintended consequences, consider in advance: “If the police ask us to leave, will I
leave when asked, or will I refuse respectfully?” This is your individual choice. Opinions
differ on whether or not it would be useful for the movement for people to be arrested. If you are
told to leave, you have three choices: Leave peacefully, cooperative civil disobedience, or
passive civil disobedience.
(OVER)
brought to you by the Grassroots Leadership College | http://www.grassrootsleadershipcollege.org | updated March 11, 2011
LEAVING PEACEFULLY
• Follow police instructions
• Do not interfere with arrests of others, even verbally
• Leave—walk, don’t run
• Meet up with your affinity group to confirm that everyone is away who
intended to be away
• Provide planned support for anyone in your group who stayed
CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE is the active, professed refusal to obey certain laws, demands, and
commands of a government. It is a nonviolent resistance tactic that involves finding ways to achieve
our goals without harming people.
• If you choose to stay, breathe, sing, center, pray, meditate, remain calm
• Recall the police are largely in support of the protest goals and want to keep the charges minimal
COOPERATIVE CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE
• Respectfully let the officer know you do not want
to leave but will cooperate physically
• Stand & hold your hands together in front of you
• Do not react/resist/pull away in any way to
avoid escalated charges
• You may be given a citation on the spot and
released, or transported to a processing center &
given a citation ($150-500 fine & a court date)
PASSIVE CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE
• Respectfully refuse to leave
• Sit down or go limp
• This will likely result in arrest, and if
done completely nonviolently should
be a misdemeanor
• Do not react/resist/pull away in any
way to avoid escalated charges
• See “being arrested” below
BEING ARRESTED
• Recognize that remaining limp while being physically removed can be extremely challenging, can
be dangerous to you, and could possibly be considered resisting arrest, a greater charge.
• Don’t make sudden moves around the police or touch them—this could be construed as
assaulting an officer, a greater charge.
• Consequences could be different for non-US citizens, students, minors, people with outstanding
warrants or past criminal records. Get legal advice before deciding to risk arrest.
• The police may use zip ties to cuff your hands. Keep your hands, arms and shoulders as relaxed
as possible. Use very gentle shoulder rotations to keep the blood moving. If your hands are
behind your back and swelling, get them above your heart by going down on your knees and
bending your head forward, so your hands rest on your back.
• You can ask where you are being taken, but if you aren’t told, don’t worry.
• Once in police custody, cooperate fully as you are transported, fingerprinted and photographed.
If you resist, you must be jailed.
• Don’t lie to the police. Give them your real name and contact information. Not to do so is a crime.
• Provide information about medical conditions or medications. If it is important that you
continue medications while in custody, be sure to bring several days’ supply with you in the
original prescription bottle. Also have with you a doctor’s note specifying the importance of those
meds to your health. Without this, your treatment will likely be delayed—perhaps significantly.
• Don’t answer other questions. Say, “I want a lawyer. I will be silent until I get a lawyer.”
• The ACLU and lawyers hired by the unions will be tracking who is arrested and will do their best
to make sure everyone gets legal support, as long as they are simply in trouble for nonviolent civil
disobedience. Our understanding is that they will NOT give legal assistance to people who get
charged with assault on an officer, drug charges, etc.
• Legal support is being coordinated through the number below. During the day, a person will
answer. At night, a recorded message will provide the numbers for people on call that night.
608.257.0040
• Write this number on your body. If arrested, you will not have your cell phone or notebook.
prepared + peaceful
training for being in and around the Capitol
updated March 11, 2011
Therein lies the big question; what happens when the powers that be have already decided they have the o.k. to attack?
I started this entry by noting that I’m a white anti-racist activist. That white piece is important here. I think it’s important that those of us who are allies ask ourselves how our whiteness impacts our perceptions of what nonviolence means, our understanding of its history, our willingness to make the commitment, and our expectations of our fellow activists in communities of Color.
In recent months there’s been a story replaying across the U.S. Communities of Color, especially Black activists having been fighting back specifically against police brutality and more broadly against racist systems. In many renditions of this story there are some incidents of disruption of the day to day and occasionally violence, though that tends to be sporadic. The mainstream press likes to grab onto it and make it into news.
What happens in these stories is that white liberals, including many good activists who have claimed to care about racism for years, get upset because of what they see to be violent actions and disruptive behaviors. They want peaceful protest. They want actions to be directed toward a clear target and to follow the rules and regulations set forth. They’d feel much more comfortable with a permitted rally or march. They definitely get angry when things get out of control, when they can’t see the strategy, and when actions they deem to be violent happen.
Part of what made the Civil Rights Movement a success were those who were both committed to nonviolence and ready to defend themselves and those around them with a weapon if necessary. We forget that. We forget the disruptions that the were caused by the actions of those who struggled for freedom. We forget that the gains beyond those told about in a page or two in a history book some February day in some classroom somewhere that took lifetimes and lives to achieve.
The struggles going on in our communities are like that. Mainstream media is giving us that one line quip about a 500+ year story. Just like that history book they’ve missed almost everything and told us only what they wanted us to hear. We have to ask ourselves is it violence when people are acting against generations of genocide (cultural and physical)? Is it violence when people are acting against centuries of economic oppression in its multiple forms from physical slavery to being denied equal education, pay, and access to work? Is it violence when people are acting against prison, housing, healthcare, and education systems that all work against them? Or is it simply self defense?
My fellow white anti-racist allies, I have to challenge us. It’s time for us to step up. We must take our role as allies seriously and step out into our communities of privilege to create change, to educate, and to eliminate the systems of oppression. Many of us are doing the work in some way, a few of us live it with our hearts each day. Now’s the time for all of us to do that. Peace can’t happen until we take our role so that our brothers and sisters don’t have to defend themselves.
Peace,
amy
December 6th, 2014
I hear some of my fellow white activists struggling to find a way to be allies in this latest chapter in the ongoing struggle for justice for Black people and, I believe, all People of Color. This is a difficult puzzle for a group of people who have for many generations held the scepter of power, to consider not wielding it. I am writing the following not a final thought for myself or anyone else, but as my own process of thinking things through. I welcome any People of Color who might read it to tell me if I am off track or continuing to carry out my privilege in my words. I welcome other anti-racist allies to consider how these thoughts might fit or not fit your own practice and to share your thoughts as well. Here’s what I’m thinking about how to best be an ally in the struggle for justice for Black people and all People of Color. I recognize that the story is far from a perfect analogy, but I hope that it works.
Imagine yourself and a friend. That friend grew up in an abusive situation (society). They didn’t choose that situation. It was simply the one that they were born into. When you were younger you didn’t realize the nature of your friend’s situation. At some point you realized you weren’t allowed to go to that person’s house and slowly you learned other unwritten rules. As you both grew older you both grew stronger and wiser as well. Your friend stretched their wings in small ways at first, gaining little freedoms here and there. Now, they’ve come to the point that they’ve decided to confront their abuser. What do you do?
Do you say follow me I’ll figure out a plan to deal with this? Do you tell them to stop? Do you tell them to behave and it will be o.k.?
No, I think you say I love you. I respect your decision and stand behind you. Now what do you want from me to help you make it happen? Then you listen, do what you are able, mourn the losses, and rejoice when the struggle is won.
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