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Don’t Stop Asking: “How Are You?”

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A chance encounter with an old friend prompts reflection on the importance of asking others “how are you?” amidst global hardships. They emphasize that despite pain in the world, beauty and joy exist, advocating for continued connection and support among each other.

GruntGrunts

Endings and Beginnings: Introducing the GruntGrunts

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The author reflects on their recent departure from a special education teaching career, highlighting the bittersweet nature of leaving students behind while introducing them to “GruntGrunts,” magical creatures designed to help with their emotions. Despite complexity and challenges, the teacher expresses hope for the future while cherishing the impact made on their students’ lives.

Dream Boots

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The author reflects on a significant dream during a challenging time as a teacher in special education, feeling emotionally drained. In the dream, a circle of supportive women offers her unique boots, symbolizing empowerment. Ultimately, she overcomes her fears and joins their dance, illustrating how dreams can inspire us to persevere.

Reaching Out In Peace

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Like millions of others around the world and thousands here in Madison, I stood holding a candle last night to honor the passing of Renee Nicole Good and the far too many others who have been murdered along with her by ICE. Standing there in the cold I found myself thinking about the past 30+ years that I’ve spent standing on those capitol steps at rallies and vigils, working toward justice and peace, and recognizing the connection of my years to the those of others. We’ve stood for so long and each time the crowds are larger and stronger.

I thought about the Anishanaabe prophecies of the eight fires and wondered if we are indeed at that place spoken of in the seventh fire where we are facing that critical choice between destruction and balance. I believe we are and we must seek that balance both internally and as a whole if we are to find peace. Afterall, peace doesn’t come through war. I wish I had some answers. All I know right now is that we must reach out in peace. We must find those seeds of joy admist the chaos and nuture them, help them grow into the trees of celebration that they are meant to become.

In this moment I am just reaching out to all of you, my brothers and sisters in the struggle and sharing this electronic hug and wishing you love in your lives.

2026- A New Response to the Happiness Project

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Last January, I leapt in to my New Year’s resolutions with vigor and excitement, focused on four areas- creativity, spirit, health, and connection. I had just read Gretchin Rubin’s book, “The Happiness Project” and decided to take on my own happiness project. I was excited to see where the project would take me and who I would become.

This time around I’m walking into the new year both tired and comfortable, but still with a fire that burns like the end of an incense stick. It’s small, but glowing, smoking, filling the whole room with a joyful, warm scent making the space come alive. I’m worn from the year at work. Special education is one of the toughest careers I’ve taken on in a life of many changes. I left school this year for winter break only to get hit by the flu. Between being sick and just being wiped out from teaching, most of my break was spent either sleeping or just laying low in my apartment trying to regain my energy.

I still love that idea of the Happiness Project. I gained a lot from it over the past year, building my meditation practice, reminding myself of the importance of balance, encouraging myself to pull out my art supplies, and learning that when fun becomes work it often fails to be fun anymore.

This year is special because it is the year that I am as old as my mother ever was. If I am lucky enough to keep on keeping on, I will have seen more years than she ever did. That seems so strange to me. She was so much older and wiser than I could ever dream to be, yet here I am. It seems something to celebrate and reflect on as it is both beautiful and confusing.

So, what do this year’s resolutions look like? How do I grow in gratitude and happiness? How do I come to know the woman who raised me and honor her existance?

I expect that a lot will continue from this past year. I’ll keep building my meditation practice. I’ll keep encouraging myself to delve deeper into my arts. This year I’ll be working on my children’s book “The Magic Blanket,” a story of my mother’s passing. It will be my first book and, with luck, maybe not my last. I’ll keep seeking balance in life, finding those ways to get out and play, not allowing myself to get to caught in my work life, and continuing to honor the life I’ve been given with good food, exercise, play, song, and celebration.

It doesn’t have the same structure and I won’t be tracking my progress in a detailed, daily way, but it’s written now so I have a place to come back to, to see if I’m doing what I’ve wanted to and to hold myself accountable. What are you seeking in the year coming?

The Happiness Project: One Year Later

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It was in November of 2024 that I first came across Gretchin Rubin’s book, “The Happiness Project” and decided to take on my own happiness project.

Last January I leapt in, focused on four areas- creativity, spirit, health, and connection. I went online and bought a planner to help me track the process and think through my direction. I set clear, measurable goals, and jumped. I started out with 15 minutes a day of creative time, 15 minutes daily of meditation, and 15 minutes daily of stretching/opening exercises. I started strong. By April these things began to feel like habits and I sought more. I added in time to make music, get outside, and to read for pleasure. As spring warmed I took that idea of getting outside and started running again. By mid-summer I was running about 10 miles a week and really loving it along with building my community connections through volunteering at the zoo and the MSCR pontoon boats.

Each of things was something that I enjoyed, but by August I learned there was something I didn’t like anymore. I didn’t like my planner or being committed to doing all of the things that I’d added to my list. While I loved to play with art supplies, I didn’t like having to make sure I did my 15 minutes a day of creative time. The same was true for meditation or music or anything else. I’d somehow taken so many things that were so fun and relaxing and made them into jobs that I had to do or I’d have failed. That wasn’t what I sought to do. How had I taken this stress reduction exercise and turned it into a stressor? It collapsed and I collapsed.

As school started again I got lost in the new year, preparing for all my students and trying my best to stay afloat amongst the growing icebergs of work that are the life of a special education teacher. The best I could do in the moment it seemed was to let go of the structure of my “Happiness Project.” I had to let myself not create, not meditate, not make music, not run, not play outside. It seems a strange way to approach it I suppose, but it worked. I decided for myself, unknowingly I’ll admit, that the project was no longer a job for me and I didn’t have to do it.

It took some time where I didn’t meditate or run or create or do much of anything that I’d set out to do in the beginning of the year, but after a month or two pieces started to drift back in. I meditate daily now. My creative time has been knitting almost daily. I started running again in the fall and did a 5k. I’m cutting my tv time and increasing my time reading fiction. The one thing that I’ve not returned to though has been my planner. I have learned that while happiness is intentional it can’t be overplanned or it becomes work.