My father will turn 90 in just a few days. Family is gathering for the party tomorrow. I’ll be 500 miles away.
That wasn’t the plan. The plan was that I’d drive home yesterday, spend a little time with friends along the way, then head for a weekend with family. My body, well actually my brain, changed the plan. I have epilepsy. I was diagnosed in 2013. My seizures have been well under control, but one showed up a few days ago and I had to set down the car keys for the next few months. And, I had to take a few days to just rest and recover.
The good news is that it encouraged me to pick up the laptop again.
I don’t know why I have epilepsy. I come from a large family and I am the only one with this challenge/gift. I can hypothesize a list of possibilities, and I have many times. But, the reality is that it’s here and I get to live with it.
Why write about it? Well, because it is a gift and gifts are good to share. What? Epilepsy is a gift? No way!
I will admit it’s not a gift I would have chosen and if I had the receipt I would most definitely return it, but it is a gift. Here are just few reasons why I consider my epilepsy a gift in my life. I wonder what unexpected and perhaps unwanted gifts life has given you?
- It’s helped me look at the temporary nature of life to better understand that there was a time without me and there will be another time without me. That’s ok. Now is my time to be alive.
- It got me to take pause to take care of myself. I’m now a whole lot more conscious of when I need to just relax. I’ve totally changed my diet, lost a lot of weight, and feel much better and happier.
- It’s helped me empathize with the experience of others. Seizures scare people. They also sometimes limit some of the things that I am able to do. Epilepsy is covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act. So, I am told, by the law, that I now have a disability. Some days I agree. Some days I don’t. But, I do know that I have a better understanding of how both my brain and societal rules create limits.
- I have found great support. I am a lucky one. I have a strong family and friends that don’t run when they get scared. I’ve also been able to find some excellent online support groups that have added to the group of people that I have that understand. How amazing is it when people stay with us through the our rough spots?
- It’s continued to inspire my work to encourage healthy living both as individuals and as community. My experience simply reminds me that we need to take care of ourselves individually and as a community if we’re to survive and thrive.
What challenge/gifts inspire you and carry you forward?