Families change, even the strongest families. The roots go deep. The trunk is strong, but do the leaves know each other?
Families change, even the strongest families. The roots go deep. The trunk is strong, but do the leaves know each other?
The author reflects on their journey from unhealthy eating habits in the early 2000s to a more conscious diet, driven by health challenges like epilepsy and obesity. After a setback due to stress-driven overeating, they plan a reset aiming for long-term health, energy for physical activities, and overall well-being improvements.
I set two goals for this year. The first was to honor and commemorate my mother’s life through celebrating my own living, as this is the year that I, with some luck, will pass the age at which she died. The second goal was to … Continue reading Being a Motherless Daughter
I’ve been continuing to face an ongoing struggle with writer’s block. I strongly suspect a sort of fear of writing, a fear of what I might learn if I go to deep, but I have no choice. There are words that I need to share and they’ll be there inside me until I let them out. So, I am continuing to work on letting them out. Today I’m going back through old journals and finding bits and pieces to revise and share more publicly. The first piece has no title yet, but maybe I’ll call it Boots. It was written on 7-6-2000 on the shores of Lake Superior while on a walk around the big lake to protect the waters.
I am standing here
on a precipice
looking out
afraid to fly
wanting so badly to walk away
to not
defend
my people
or
my place
but my boots
will not walk backward
like the staff
my being is feathered
and I will
fly
Another story that I found came from a few years earlier. It is called Blue Eyes Flashing and is dedicated to my great aunt Sr. Christine Mondloch. Sr. Christine was born in 1898. She served as a School Sister of Notre Dame, teaching school for many years before retiring. She lived out her final years in Elm Grove, Wisconsin in a tiny blue room in her convent. She was an inspiration to me. She found such joy and meaning in the simplest life.
Blue Eyes Flashing
(a revision of the 3-4-96 version dedicated to Sr. Christine Mondloch who walked on 2-24-96)
Blue eyes flashing
From behind the clouds
Not recognizing a brother
Only crying out
In fear
Imagining your smile
Wishing for you the great beyond
Remembering the cardboard cutouts
Stored away in my parent’s basement
And wondering how the demons
Caught your spirit, stole your soul
All my life you gave me cardboard boxes,
Toothpick flags, and empty suitcases
All your treasures in the world
I think of you of your autobiography
98 years written on one page
I remember the tiny blue room
Charity called your home
I walk the halls and feel your footsteps
In time with mine
It’s that time of year again. The time of year for dreams. Winter time brings so many dreams, tells me so many stories that help me understand myself when I take the time to listen and understand myself. It’s a good time to spend a … Continue reading The Little Girl in the Theater- A Dream of Healing
Tuesday marked the end of my first week on the Modified Atkins Diet for my epilepsy. It’s far too soon to know if the MAD has impacted my seizures at all, but I can say that I have seen some changes and have learned a bit too in this past week.
Before I started this journey I created a list of “MAD Hopes”, 25 hopes and goals that would help me know if I am succeeding or not. These hopes and goals include things related to my epilepsy like seizure freedom and decreasing medication as well as other things related to my overall physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Reviewing my list this morning I can say that I am doing well. I am five pounds closer to my goal weight. I don’t have the bloating that I did before I started. My breathing is better and my athlete’s foot is clearing up. I think I may be starting to sleep a little better. I definitely feel good about my food choices and how they impact the planet and myself. Thus far, the MAD is doing good for me.
It’s not been a perfect trip so far. Each day I check my ketone levels at least once using a urine testing kit. Each day now it seem my ketone levels show up high on the scale. Some days this is not a big deal. Other days it comes with a bit of fatigue and maybe some nausea and stomach discomfort. These are signs of low blood sugar and could indicate significant problems coming. Thankfully, a great lesson I’ve learned this week is one that many people with diabetes have known for years– the amazing healing powers of apple juice. Two tablespoons of juice and I am back within normal ketone levels and fully operational. I am told that my body will likely adjust, my ketones will come into balance, and I won’t be needing apple juice regularly any more.
I’d like to say that the new diet has increased my energy and clarity, but it’s hard to say. My life has been a bit unusual having had a few weeks off looking for my next place of employment. It’s meant a lot more time sitting and typing and hanging out with the dog, not a time that requires a great deal of energy or quick thinking. With luck and some work I will be back in the workplace soon, then we’ll see how the MAD has impacted my clarity and energy. Meanwhile, I am happy with what I am seeing.
Time confuses me more as it passes. It used to be so linear. Babies were young and old people were old. Now, I’m not so sure. April 1st would have been my Grandpa Mondloch’s 122nd birthday. I never met the man. He died in 1935, … Continue reading Mirrors of Time
Tomorrow would have been my dad’s 94th birthday. He was a special man, kind and strong the product of a hard yet loved filled life. He started life as the second child of four in a farming family in Port Washington, Wisconsin. He knew even … Continue reading Thoughts on My Father
I met him 23 years ago in a McDonald’s in East Tennessee. I was a twenty-something community organizer embarking on my first “real job” after college. I’d only just arrived in Tennessee from Wisconsin a few weeks before full of brilliant ideas and energy, ready to save the world. He was a middle-aged factory worker who’d grown up and lived his whole life in Appalachia. My young and oh so wise self was sure I’d have so much to teach him from my infinite stores of knowledge. It didn’t take long for me to see just how wrong I was.
My co-organizer Gil and I had just arrived. Gil would be introducing me and starting to hand over the work of coordinating the strip-mining issues committee. We were meeting Landon Medley, the committee chair, at McDonald’s that day. Gil and I had spent a lot of time discussing the Fall Creek Falls campaign, a major campaign to protect more than 60,000 acres of land surround the tallest waterfall east of the Rocky Mountains from strip-mining. He’d told me a great deal about the strategy so far and where it was headed as well as about each of the committee members and allies involved. He told me quite a bit about Landon and who he was. I don’t remember if he ever mentioned the crutches though. I remember not quite knowing what to do when this short middle-aged man using Loftstrand crutches walked toward us and Gil greeted him. Should I help him? How could I assist?
It was only a moment. Then as quickly as those crutches were set aside, I began to learn. Landon was one of the children of the 1940’s in Appalachia who survived polio. While the illness left him with a disability that impacted his life and health, it never stopped him and maybe even made him stronger. He had a love for his Appalachian home that ran deep in his soul. I still have a painting on my bookshelf that he made for me of those beautiful mountains. There is no place on earth like it. He was a gifted historian and author. He was also a great leader of the fight to protect his mountain homeland from multinational mining corporations and others who have sought to destroy it in so many ways. It was a gift to call him my friend and mentor.
Today I learned that because he’d had polio as a child he wasn’t able to receive the COVID vaccine. A little boy who won the fight against one the most devastating diseases of the 20th century thanks to medical advances and much struggle, lost the fight against COVID. It hurts to think that he didn’t have to lose this struggle. He lost because of all the people who’ve opted not to get vaccinated, who’ve chosen not to wear masks, who’ve taken unnecessary risks, thinking that their actions only impact themselves. We aren’t separate beings. We are connected. I ask that each person who reads this act not only for yourself, but for the love of others. I wish you all wellness and joy. Take good care.
It’s that time of year again when so many memories come to mind and I am reminded of the women who made me who I am. Birthdays do that to me. Today in meditation I found myself remembering birthdays past. I found myself thinking about … Continue reading Memories of the Women Who Made Me
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