Tag: healing

From Broken to Owning Happiness

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I think it was sometime early in college when I first got the label “borderline depression.” I wonder if there’s anything worse healthcare can do so simply and in such an offhand way for someone who’s dealing with feeling down than giving them labels like that? It took a long time to get over the labeling. Sometimes I still feel its hurt. The label told me I was broken and unfixable. It echoed what I was feeling at the time, that I was less than and unworthy.

There is much that I have to be thankful for that got me past that label western medicine dropped on me and brought me to this point where I own my happiness and can take on things like the happiness project that I’m doing this year. Back in my teens and twenties I went through some tough times when I could find no reason in myself to keep going. I had to look outside. I’m alive today because of my nieces and nephews. They were all kids back then. As someone who’d lost people in my life as a child, I knew how much it hurt. No matter how much living hurt for me then I couldn’t die because it would hurt them even more. I couldn’t do that to them. I say this because I know there are others out there who are going through what I went through then. When we’re hurting and can’t see the beauty and joy in ourselves sometimes it’s okay to let the beauty and joy of others be our safety net to support us as we rebuild and find our balance. It is good to recognize our interconnection. It’s good to remember that in hurting ourselves we hurt those who truly love us. In healing ourselves we bring joy to those who love us too.

I share my story too because it’s not over. People have good times and lousy times. Stress impacts us all and sometimes we get worn. In recent months I’ve been noticing that the combination of middle-age, a stressful career in special education in a high needs community, the political situation in the US, and the impacts of epilepsy and epilepsy treatment have all been wrapping me up and some days wearing me down.

I’m really appreciating my 2025 Happiness Project. I think it’s been key to keeping me going. I’ve noticed that I’m not angry as much. I calm quicker. I can empathize more often. I’ll be making some changes to it in April. Meditation and daily stretching seem to be becoming a regular habit that don’t need to be listed as goals anymore. I will keep doing at least 15 minutes of meditation and a few minutes of qi gong or other stretching daily, but will give myself space for some new goals. I will keep creative time as a goal. Right now I’m deciding if I might increase the amount of time I’ll commit daily. I started with 15 minutes daily, but often find myself doing more. I’ll also keep a goal of cutting out television at least two days a week.

I’ll add one or two new goals in April. I’m still deciding what those might be. Will I focus on getting out and connecting more? Maybe I should commit to singing every day? Would I like to commit to other writing projects, daily reading, or maybe something else? There are many ideas floating about. We’ll see what comes to fruition. In any case, I think I can be proud. I’ve come a long way from those days of not finding any joy in myself to seeing the many options for growing joy.

How are you growing your joy? You are worthy. Joy is there. What do you want to do to feed it and grow it and bring it to your life?

Thoughts on How to Stop the Violence

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Yesterday, 19 children and 2 adults lost their lives at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas. That means we’re at nearly 250 school shootings since back when Columbine first shocked and terrified us all. Thousands of children and their caregivers and teachers have died. Others have been left behind to struggle with the loss.

Each time another shooting happens the response is much the same. We cry. We mourn. We say this must never happen again. Yet, it happens again. Why?

It happens because there are no easy answers. It happens because the changes needed are needed at many levels; personal, community, political, maybe even spiritual. It happens because the changes require more than the wonderful organizers who are already out there working day and night trying to save the world. The changes require all of us taking action. There are many ways to take action each day. Some listed here may seem obvious and direct. Others may leave you questioning a little. That’s okay. My thoughts here are based on the idea that everything is connected.

  • Tell someone that you love them. If you’ve already told them, tell them again. We all need to hear these words over and over again to hold our souls together and no one wants to say goodbye with these words unsaid.
  • Breathe deeply before you act and then act with the seventh generation in your mind and your heart. Some may ask what this means. The idea of the seventh generation is simple. Imagine a long tunnel. If you look down that tunnel, way down at the other end you’ll see a baby. That baby is the seventh generation, roughly 150 years from now. If you do right by that child, you’ll be doing right for today. Always treat that baby with love and respect.
  • You don’t have to love your enemy, but do recognize that someone loves them and that someone is a valuable person who deserves not to be hurt. Every shooter, every evil politician, every horrible whatever out there has or had someone, their parent, their child, their grandma or grandpa, or maybe a teacher or somebody who cared about them or still cares about them. You don’t have to love the horrible, just know that somebody could see something in them that was good, that was worthy of love and act with that in mind.
  • Recognize the connections. Our mental health is no accident. Good mental health depends on a healthy environment, healthy diet, financial security, and strong social support networks. We each need many things to maintain our stability. Each day we must strive to move toward fulfilling each of these needs for everyone if we are to create a healthy world.
  • Be involved. Find your piece of the action whether it’s working directly on gun safety and stopping school shootings or a hundred different issues. Follow your heart and connect with your community to make the world just a little bit better. It is by the creating of good, healthy communities of many types that we heal and we stop this senseless violence and turn instead to love.

Those are just a few thoughts for the moment. I am sure there are many more. I would love to hear yours. Take good care and wishing you all peace and healing